Smoke um if ya got um. Or not.

So,

I was in Dollar World today, and the Freeland PA police chief was in front of me.

He wanted to buy two Monster™ drinks.

And a pack of smokes.

The tattooed, pierced-all over-the face girl behind the counter unlocked the cabinet and brought out a pack, and said "Is this the kind you want?"

"Yes, thank you"

"OK, I will just have to see some I.D." she said to the guy with a badge, gun, mace, taser, baton and hand-cuffs.

He said you are carding me? She said "Well I have to, there is a cop in the store." (him)
He said that he left his wallet in his car back at THE POLICE STATION.

She unlocked the case, put the cigarettes back, locked the case and put away the keys.

"You're kidding me"

"Nope. No I.D. no smokes. Period."



I don't think I would like very much to be a passenger in her car any time soon.

odd and ends again.

Ok
So getting back into the blog thing (Blogging is not writing. It's just graffiti with punctuation.
- Dr. Ian Sussman:
 Contagion (2011)
Anyhow, I see this tree when I am on South street, it is in the woods. Where else would a tree be? well this one is special.

 

That one. See it? 

Lets get closer:

Someone carved it into a small totem pole.

Out in the woods.

Go figure.

Another note; 

The whole time we lived here I have seen a rock formation that goes down into a sort of pit or something. It looks sort of like a lava flow, but I am sure there were never volcanoes in NEPA.

Then I saw what was up. 

for six months I have tried to get a picture. But it is like Bigfoot.

Today I got a Bigfoot quality photo

 There. See it?

It is a cement mixer dumping unused cement down a ditch.

I think that in New York, Connecticut or California you would get off easier if you kidnapped and killed a child rather then dumping waste cement into a ditch.   

We do things differently here in NEPA.

 Last,  

The computer guy (fixing a workstation for me) said that there are a lot of heroine junkies in town and they rob homes when the people are away.

Mrs. Maher said, "good thing you are home a lot" 

I said,  quietly,

yes.

I am.  

Sometimes things just do not connect

I know it has been a while, but the holidays and family and stuff.

So,

I was up at Weis, the big supermarket in the Hazleton Quad City area, and I asked an employee where I might find cheese cloth.

"Cheese? Cloth?"

Yes, it is used in the kitchen for baking and straining.

"Hold on a sec, Hey Joe do we have cheese cloth?"

"Cheese? Cloth?"

Ok, It is not cloth made of cheese, it is like gauze but not used for bandaging, you use it like a sieve.

For straining stuff.

"A sieve. 

No. 

We don't carry that here. Try Lowe's."

Look, Lowes is a hardware store, cheese cloth is used in cooking. Do you know what a sieve is?

"Um, no, but I think they have that at Lowe's, try over there."

<Whispers at the bus stop
I heard about nights out in the school yard
Oksana Baiul

Oksana Baiul

Gin Blossoms, c 1993>

Same planet, different lyrics.

 

I used to work with a woman that had a friend that had a brother that thought those were the words to that song. 

When ever I realize that I am talking to someone in the same language but we can not communicate I think of that song. 

OK, Let me get this straight, Lowe's, the "Home improvement warehouse" has a baking section?

"Yup, They have that cloth thing you are looking for."

I found it on my own. Isle 7, between the Teflon frying pans and the sieves.

 

Cumann Na mBan

Cumann Na mBan is an Irish woman's organization, simmalar to our Avon ladies, but with guns, not mascara.

See? they already had the guns.

This is their lapel pin:

did you know darling daughter Rose was a member and almost 100 years old?

True.

And here she is today:

Go figure.

Oberlin College

Students are filling the school newspaper with complaints and demanding meetings with campus dining officials and even the college president.

Why?

General Tso’s chicken was made with steamed chicken instead of fried

Banh mi Vietnamese sandwiches served with coleslaw instead of pickled vegetables, and on ciabatta bread, rather than the traditional French baguette.

Worse, the sushi rice was undercooked in a way that was, according to one student, “disrespectful” of her culture.


 The cafeteria there wasn’t serving enough vegan and vegetarian options and had failed to make fried chicken a permanent feature on the Sunday night menu.

The Nevada-based Universal Society of Hinduism joined the food fight last week after students discovered that the traditional Indian dish, tandoori, contained beef.

The Horror. The Horror.

Some years ago 18 year olds were storming beaches, not bitching about what kind of bread the sandwich is made of.

Tell that guy your sandwich is on the wrong kind of bread.


I remember once the copier broke at work, and some guy said "This is the worst day ever."

I said "You should go have a talk with my grandfather, his worst day ever was Anzio"

He said who is Anzio?

Something tells me some people will never get it.

Medivac

Want to drive your velocipede at murderous speeds? 

Have no idea what you are doing?

Come to Freeland and be entered in a chance to WIN A FREE HELICOPTER RIDE!

 

Some kids were driving ATV's in the woods, based on what I was told, in the 35 acres where I was to be hunting.

I really doubt I would mistake a 15 year old on an ATV for a deer or a turkey, but whatever.

Anyhow the kid ran his bike into a tree and needed to be medivac-ed  to a better place.

Tis the season

Well,
Christmas is upon us again. But no fear, if Christmas kind of sneaks up on you, and catches you off guard,  The Family Dollar on South St. will be open on Christmas.

So if you need to get that special someone a dollar's worth of AA batteries, a really nice pair of flip-flops or a set of citronella candles, I can hook you up.
It is only about five blocks from School St.

But don't sleep in, they close at 5:00

Then Mary said the signs on the left and right indicate things might cost more than a dollar, as  it clearly reads $5.
I said yes, it reads five bucks, but you get five of what ever they are selling.


So there.