109

Back in the 90's I was a member of the Putnam County Fish and Game Association. Every month I had to mail a tri-fold letter, stapled shut, to 109 members.

A Swingline ™ Stapler holds one "sleeve" of staples from a box of staples. 
110 staples per sleeve, so when I was done, one staple left in the stapler.

One.

This information will be somewhat relevant if you read this further.


 Saturday I get a letter from NYDMV that informs me PA car insurance is not valid on a car registered in NY. I have 10 days to fix this.
According to NYDMV.
And they suspended my registration 10 days ago.

 So,
eventually I was able to  get to the PADMV to get a new driver's license.
Now, this is my third visit,  I have the required paperwork to prove I can drive a car.
Aaand, I get a new license.

Well that was easy. After three trips. So now I have to get new plates for the cars.

But. The PADMV does not issue license plates, you have to go to a Notary, and he will register your car with the state.
I find a Notary about 2 miles from Mary's office and pop by to take care of the plates.
When we were done (much easier than dealing with some state apparatchik) I decided to walk back to Mary's office.

So, there I am, walking down Broad street, in Hazelton, and I get to the corner of Broad and Green. At 11:30 am.

I just bought a coke and *sigh* a hoagie with extra Sriacha sauce.
As I wait for the light, this forty-ish Hispanic gentleman on a bicycle  pulls up and blocks me, shoves a fist in my chest, and says, youwannabag?"

I look down in his hand and see he is offering me about two ounces of marijuana.

First thought: Left hand, drop coke, punch throat, he falls over bike. Escape.
Second thought: Right hand, smash hoagie in his face, hope Sriacha sauce blinds him, he falls over bike. Escape.

Third thought: one and two leaves me without a coke or a hoagie. So,
I say " Well, thanks, but I don't want a bag just yet, but I will keep you in mind."

He mumbles something in spanish and peadles off on his bike.

Did I mention the West Hazelton Police Department was 1/2 a block away?