Yes, that is my car.

So,
Ever since I moved here I have had to put up with a lot of guff about our cars. And, well, "HE-MAN DON'T TAKE NO GUFF" (Gurr, grunt, feh)
So today I am back in the notary's office to pick up my plates. As I am filling out the paperwork, I mention that I have received this:

SUSPENSION ORDER

Section 318.1 of the New York State Vehicle and Traffic Law requires that all vehicles have NY liability insurance. Return this form with proof of insurance. please DO NOT WRITE OR USE 

 STAPLES IN THIS AREA.

He  looks at it and says "You better write a note here telling NYDMV you are returning the plates.  And Staple this to the plates when you send it back. Use a bunch of staples, you don't want them to loose this."

No kidding.

Now I have to go get the car inspected, which is sort of what started the whole thing. 

I go back to the garage, and tell the old gleep I am back for the inspection. He said all the guys are out to lunch and it might take a while. 

Fine. Whatever.

He looks out the window, and asks, "Is that your car? that Dodge over there?"

Yes.

Ok it passed. Here is your inspection sticker. Gimmie sixty bucks and sign here, please.

Done.

I feel like a free man, I can walk in the sun again. Except my car is legal, so I don't have to walk, I can drive.

But not until Dr. LaCroix says I can drive. 

He said he thought I was clinically insane, But that is a different story.

Oh, the 109

I forgot.
Last post I went on about staples, 109 in a sleeve of swingline ™ staples.

Today I received a letter from NYDMV  

SUSPENSION ORDER

Section 318.1 of the New York State Vehicle and Traffic Law requires that all vehicles have NY liability insurance. Return this form with proof of insurance. please DO NOT WRITE OR USE 

 STAPLES IN THIS AREA.

Oh.

Guess what is going to happen next. 

110

 

109

Back in the 90's I was a member of the Putnam County Fish and Game Association. Every month I had to mail a tri-fold letter, stapled shut, to 109 members.

A Swingline ™ Stapler holds one "sleeve" of staples from a box of staples. 
110 staples per sleeve, so when I was done, one staple left in the stapler.

One.

This information will be somewhat relevant if you read this further.


 Saturday I get a letter from NYDMV that informs me PA car insurance is not valid on a car registered in NY. I have 10 days to fix this.
According to NYDMV.
And they suspended my registration 10 days ago.

 So,
eventually I was able to  get to the PADMV to get a new driver's license.
Now, this is my third visit,  I have the required paperwork to prove I can drive a car.
Aaand, I get a new license.

Well that was easy. After three trips. So now I have to get new plates for the cars.

But. The PADMV does not issue license plates, you have to go to a Notary, and he will register your car with the state.
I find a Notary about 2 miles from Mary's office and pop by to take care of the plates.
When we were done (much easier than dealing with some state apparatchik) I decided to walk back to Mary's office.

So, there I am, walking down Broad street, in Hazelton, and I get to the corner of Broad and Green. At 11:30 am.

I just bought a coke and *sigh* a hoagie with extra Sriacha sauce.
As I wait for the light, this forty-ish Hispanic gentleman on a bicycle  pulls up and blocks me, shoves a fist in my chest, and says, youwannabag?"

I look down in his hand and see he is offering me about two ounces of marijuana.

First thought: Left hand, drop coke, punch throat, he falls over bike. Escape.
Second thought: Right hand, smash hoagie in his face, hope Sriacha sauce blinds him, he falls over bike. Escape.

Third thought: one and two leaves me without a coke or a hoagie. So,
I say " Well, thanks, but I don't want a bag just yet, but I will keep you in mind."

He mumbles something in spanish and peadles off on his bike.

Did I mention the West Hazelton Police Department was 1/2 a block away?

Welcome to the Freeland (flea) Market

So,
Freeland has a market. When we first moved here, we worked at the market selling T-Shirts for St. Mary's Church.

I had thought my capacity for fear had been strained to its utmost; yet a new horror was in store. The Freeland Market.

"We believe in supporting our local businesses and vendors and giving back to our community. That’s why we’ve invited dozens of artists, furniture craftsmen and women, bakers and more to join us at Freeland and showcase their best products and offerings, boasting one-of-a-kind memorabilia, collectibles and antiques at bargain prices..."

"Boasting" might not be the right word –


“admitted after extensive questioning without attorney present” might be better.

What the heck is this?

April 23.

Snow.

Again.

Still no word from Ed McMahon.

BOOM!

So,

We were sitting around and we hear sirens. Lots of sirens. And they stop right outside our front door.

I go and put on my shoes to step outside, and I see this:

I also see about half a dozen of my neighbors standing next to my front door.

And I smell gas.

A lot of gas.

One of the firemen said there is a gas leak somewhere in the Church across the street, or perhaps the rectory down the block.
I turn to my neighbors and say, 25 years we lived in Brewster and the fire trucks stopped once, when the house next door was on fire, but here, it has been four times in six...

Lisa, are you smoking a cigarette? Loyd, is that a stogie you got there? Don't you smell that? Didn't you hear him? When he said GAS LEAK?

I just went back inside and told everyone to stay away from the windows. In fact, why don't we go in to the kitchen, on the other side of the house.

Come to Freeland, they said.

It'll be nice, they said.
You'll enjoy the weather, they said.

And you will enjoy the weather, if you enjoy cold winds and being rained upon.

At first I was vaguely disgruntled by exactly how rainy and foggy it is here. But presently I became aware of the fact that it is not fog, we live in the clouds. Without the benefit/curse of having Lando Calrissian as a neighbor.

So,
I bake bread often. Keeps me occupied, and my mind off things. And it keeps me inside so I do not get rained upon.

Today I made this:

In a Dutch oven, there on the butcher block. Look at the lid:

Now look at the bread a little closer, (after I reverse the image in Photoshop):

Sometimes I crack myself up.




Eventually it might get warm outside and I will walk around Freeland and get some more photos of the highest town in all PA
or perhaps go to Danko's for a cold one and a game of sabacc with Lando. What do I have to loose?

Oh, If you have yeast, flour, Pam™ and parchment paper, the bread is:
1/2 cup warm water
5 tsp yeast
4 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons sugar
(let that sit for 5 minutes)
2.5 cups of milk
8 cups of flour
3 teaspoons of salt
3 tablespoons vinigar

Turn on the oven to 350° for 60 seconds, then turn it off and put the bread in a Pam™ coated bowl (or use oil) and put it in the oven (OFF) for about an hour, covered with a kitchen towel.

Spray the parchment paper with Pam™ and punch down the bread and put on the paper, in the Dutch oven. After another hour, take the dough and parchment paper out of the Dutch oven and put it in a pie plate (to keep the shape) and turn the oven on to 450° with the empty Dutch oven in it.

When it reaches 450° place the dough and parchment paper back in the Dutch oven and put the lid on. Set the timer for 17 minutes.
When it beeps, remove the lid of the Dutch oven, and reset the timer for another 17 minutes. Try real hard not to burn your hands.
When the top is browned nicely, remove the bread and set on a wire rack to cool.

Yield: Enough to go with dinner, Toast with breakfast, and PB&J's for the quick, 17 hours after cooling. Do not worry about stale bread, it will not last 18 hours.