(Big) butt couches, bears and raccoons, Oh my!

Well, it's been a while.
Lets see,  first we went to an auction in Schuykill. You have not been to an auction until you have been to a Schuykill auction.

Here a few decor tips from your ole pal, Maher.
(And they all can be had at the Schuykill auction for a song)
First up, what if you were looking for that little something that says "Home" Something for the middle of the livingroom. Why not a dead bear?

 

A big old bear just too big for the space you had in mind?
They come in "small" as well

Now how is that for an ice-breaker?

"You shot a baby bear?"

"Oh good Lord, no. I bought it at auction.
Can I freshen up your drink?
Here, sit your butt down, I'll be right back."

"On my Schuykill auction ass-sofa"

 It is well appointed with a creative mix of Levi's™ Wrangler™,  Big Yank™ and Oshkosh b'gosh  genuine, over-sized, gently used pant-seats.

Well, if dead bears are not your thing, head on over to Hazleton , PA. 100% urban, pop. 25,000
where mostly they don't have the dead kind at all.
Nope. Hazleton is very modern. (Just you wait until the butt couch craze catches on there)
They only go in for the real deal.

Downtown Hazleton. Next to an office:

(Photo courtesy Maureen W., formerly from parts unknown, currently ensconced in PA)

 What do you do with a bear in your back yard?
You could try to shoot him, scoop out the innards, fill him up with saw dust and make a pretty penny at auction.
Problem with that, is in a few minutes you would find yourself surrounded by, and being harassed by hysterical neighbors, followed by a few car-loads of very pushy cops that don't seem to give a damned about your opinion on the second ammenment.

Next best thing; let them shoot the bear.

(Photo courtesy Maureen W.,  of the Hazleton Quad-City area)

 With a dart or two. then they can stick him in a can

Problem solved.

Unless.

Unless you don't like bears.

Then you can go for the "sun-bleached" dead raccoon look for your house:

Last:

No dead animals? Kids spend too much time on the computer? Want to have hours of fun for boys or girls? Well, welcome back. Welcome back indeed.

The "Welcome back Kotter Kotter" toy for hours of fun. As long as they are not three.

(Oh, come on kids, google it)

Off the top of my head, the only thing missing is...


Yea, you got it...




AS SEEN ON TV.