Sunday, February 28, 2016
St Patrick's day 1
March in Freeland
The Big Doubleya
landscaped for the movie, The fictional Santa Rosita State Park is off limits to the
general public today.
general public today.
Well, I haven't mentioned the special days in Freeland lately, then today I realized I have been doing this for almost a year.
So Here it is:
01 Pig Day
02 Old stuff day
03 If pets had thumbs day
04 Walk to work day
05 Multiple personalities day
06 Dentist day
07 Frozen food day
08 Be nasty day
09 panic day (I seem to think this is a repeat, that there is another panic day in Freeland)
10 Middle name day
11 Worship tools day
12 Paint a flower day
13 Jewel day
14 Potato chip day
15 Everything you think is wrong day
16 Everything you do is right day
17 Submarine day (Sandwich or boat, your call)
18 Goddess of fertility day
19 Quilting day
20 Extraterrestrial abduction day
21 Fragrance day
22 Goof off day
23 Chip and dip day
24 Chocolate covered raisin day
25 Waffle day
26 Make up your own holiday day
27 Spinach day
28 Something on a stick day
29 Mom and Pop business day
30 Walk in the park day
31 Bunsen burner day
"Then what happens next? I'll tell you what happens: Then they all decide that I'm supposed to get a smaller share! That I'm somebody extra special stupid, or something! That they don't even care if it's a democracy! And in a democracy, it don't matter how stupid you are, you still get an equal share!"
Thursday, February 25, 2016
Things I have not seen
So,
Last night the wind was whipping mad, there was thunder and lightning and the rain was coming down it torrents. I thought, thunder? lightning? in February?
My trash barrels blew across the side of my house and ended up in the yard between my house and the 1/2 double (duplex to people in the real world) across from us. And the trash was everywhere. Still in the bags.
This morning I went out to clean up the mess, and the voice on the radio said it was a hurricane that blew through here last night.
A hurricane.
In Freeland.
In February.
As I was picking up the trash, it occurred to me, of all the stuff I have seen in the last year here in Freeland PA, the only thing I have never seen...
raccoons.
Not a one.
Ever.
You have to drive to Drums, White Haven or Conyngham to even see a dead one on the side of the road. Not here though.
Then I remembered.
Last year my neighbor, Robert told me what is what.
The government is spraying Freeland with a secret chemical and that is why there are no raccoons. Or chipmunks.
I said I see a boatload of no fear fat rabbits, that sit in my yard that I can just walk up to.
"The government engineered them."
"They also killed Tesla, and stole his "Weather-control-device" to manipulate the price of oil."
Um, Robert.
You said you were in the Air Force at one time. Do you remember handling barrels marked "Agent Orange" or anything along those lines that you were asked not to talk about? You know, stuff in crates brought in by dudes that did not talk at all, driving trucks with no plates or markings of any kind?
Anything like that?
Robert?
Robert?
Robert?
Last night the wind was whipping mad, there was thunder and lightning and the rain was coming down it torrents. I thought, thunder? lightning? in February?
My trash barrels blew across the side of my house and ended up in the yard between my house and the 1/2 double (duplex to people in the real world) across from us. And the trash was everywhere. Still in the bags.
This morning I went out to clean up the mess, and the voice on the radio said it was a hurricane that blew through here last night.
A hurricane.
In Freeland.
In February.
As I was picking up the trash, it occurred to me, of all the stuff I have seen in the last year here in Freeland PA, the only thing I have never seen...
raccoons.
Not a one.
Ever.
You have to drive to Drums, White Haven or Conyngham to even see a dead one on the side of the road. Not here though.
Then I remembered.
Last year my neighbor, Robert told me what is what.
I said I see a boatload of no fear fat rabbits, that sit in my yard that I can just walk up to.
"The government engineered them."
"They also killed Tesla, and stole his "Weather-control-device" to manipulate the price of oil."
Um, Robert.
You said you were in the Air Force at one time. Do you remember handling barrels marked "Agent Orange" or anything along those lines that you were asked not to talk about? You know, stuff in crates brought in by dudes that did not talk at all, driving trucks with no plates or markings of any kind?
Anything like that?
Robert?
Robert?
Robert?
Wednesday, February 24, 2016
Catching the Westbound
What do these people have in common?
THE HARDROCK KID
MOUNTAIN DEW
SLOW MOTION SHORTY
CONNECTICUT SLIM
PENNSYLVANIA KID
HAFEY ZALE
A MAN CALLED JOHN
IOWA BOB
LORD OPEN ROAD
CARDBOARD
HOBO HERB
SLIM JIM
TEXAS BOB
Fr. JOHN BRICKLEY
CALAMITY JANE
STICK CHICK
HOBO JOE
CINDERBOX CINDY
HOBO QUEEN DERAIL
SALLY LADY
FISHBONES
LIBERTY JUSTICE
PREACHER STEVE
FRY PAN JACK
IOWA BLACKIE
ROADHOG USA
RAILROAD RANDY
ALABAMA HOBO
SIDEDOOR PULLMAN KID
GRUMP
HOBO MINSTREL
MILWAUKEE MIKE
STRETCH
They are all still riding the rails, they all caught the Westbound. For the last time.
They are all buried in the Hobo cemetery in Brit Iowa.
Check out the shoes. Bet he took it on the arches more than once.
The hobos may seem like an unsavory lot, but the hobos did live by a code. The Hobo code. They had signs they would mark to signal other hobos.
/// means this is not a safe place.
/\ means a beating awaits you.
WXN Dog is barking, do he bite?
△△△△ Kind woman, tell a sob story for free food.
# you will go to jail here.
Plus so many others.
The code demonstrates that to be a successful hobo, you have to trust while being untrustworthy, and distrust while being honest.
Kinda like Han Solo.
Or Captain Jack Sparrow.
Connecticut Shorty’s father Connecticut Slim, rode the rails for 44 years before catching the Westbound in 1990. Now in her 50's she jumps the trains and travels the country.
Said Shorty “Even if people did have a family that supported them, if you start tattooing your face and smoking crack they’re going to start looking at you different."
Good point, Shorty.
So,
Every August, hundreds of hobos and hobo aficionados from across America gather in Britt, Iowa for the National Hobo Convention. I guess to toast hobos, eat fried dough and ride the Tilt-A-Whirl.
Until the whistle blows down at the train yard.
Then the music stops, and everyone shambles off.
THE HARDROCK KID
MOUNTAIN DEW
SLOW MOTION SHORTY
CONNECTICUT SLIM
PENNSYLVANIA KID
HAFEY ZALE
A MAN CALLED JOHN
IOWA BOB
LORD OPEN ROAD
CARDBOARD
HOBO HERB
SLIM JIM
TEXAS BOB
Fr. JOHN BRICKLEY
CALAMITY JANE
STICK CHICK
HOBO JOE
CINDERBOX CINDY
HOBO QUEEN DERAIL
SALLY LADY
FISHBONES
LIBERTY JUSTICE
PREACHER STEVE
FRY PAN JACK
IOWA BLACKIE
ROADHOG USA
RAILROAD RANDY
ALABAMA HOBO
SIDEDOOR PULLMAN KID
GRUMP
HOBO MINSTREL
MILWAUKEE MIKE
STRETCH
They are all still riding the rails, they all caught the Westbound. For the last time.
They are all buried in the Hobo cemetery in Brit Iowa.
Check out the shoes. Bet he took it on the arches more than once.
The hobos may seem like an unsavory lot, but the hobos did live by a code. The Hobo code. They had signs they would mark to signal other hobos.
The hobo sign left at the entrance to this house (c. 1934) means a hobo can get something to eat inside.
other signs, marked in chalk, or with a pen-knife on a fence-post included these:
/// means this is not a safe place.
/\ means a beating awaits you.
WXN Dog is barking, do he bite?
△△△△ Kind woman, tell a sob story for free food.
# you will go to jail here.
Plus so many others.
The code demonstrates that to be a successful hobo, you have to trust while being untrustworthy, and distrust while being honest.
Kinda like Han Solo.
Or Captain Jack Sparrow.
Connecticut Shorty’s father Connecticut Slim, rode the rails for 44 years before catching the Westbound in 1990. Now in her 50's she jumps the trains and travels the country.
Said Shorty “Even if people did have a family that supported them, if you start tattooing your face and smoking crack they’re going to start looking at you different."
Good point, Shorty.
So,
Every August, hundreds of hobos and hobo aficionados from across America gather in Britt, Iowa for the National Hobo Convention. I guess to toast hobos, eat fried dough and ride the Tilt-A-Whirl.
Until the whistle blows down at the train yard.
Then the music stops, and everyone shambles off.
"...So I said to the farmer, OK, but why does the pig have a wooden leg?"
"And he said, get this,
A PIG THAT GOOD YOU DON'T WANT TO EAT ALL AT ONCE!"
Shorty, I am going to kill you tonight while you sleep.
Sunday, February 21, 2016
boring
So,
It has been a boring week in Freeland PA.
No cops were harassed by slacker, tattooed underachievers. That I am aware of.
No houses burnt to the ground. That I am aware of.
Nothing.
Just quiet nothingness. It is starting to get warm again so perhaps things will pick up.
Ha.
This town is smaller than Ward Pound Ridge Reservation by about 1700 acres.
On the plus side, the pizzeria that burnt down has been rebuilt, so now we are back to three take-out joints within a twenty minute drive. Sorrento's pizza, The Garlic knot and Garden Chen.
The Garden Chen.
On another note; I am saving up my money to buy a Plasma Torch. You can see plasma in the form of lightning, for example. A plasma torch can generate heat an much as over 6,000 degrees Celsius. That is 10,832 degrees Fahrenheit. Hotter than the surface of the sun.
I have a short list of people I will shoot in the ass when I get my plasma torch
Only not like Ghostbusters™ the plasma torch is real.
They have them today.
And they work. For real.
Click on the link above (or here) to find out how it works, and to show I am not making this up.
It has been a boring week in Freeland PA.
No cops were harassed by slacker, tattooed underachievers. That I am aware of.
No houses burnt to the ground. That I am aware of.
Nothing.
Just quiet nothingness. It is starting to get warm again so perhaps things will pick up.
Ha.
This town is smaller than Ward Pound Ridge Reservation by about 1700 acres.
On the plus side, the pizzeria that burnt down has been rebuilt, so now we are back to three take-out joints within a twenty minute drive. Sorrento's pizza, The Garlic knot and Garden Chen.
The Garden Chen.
On another note; I am saving up my money to buy a Plasma Torch. You can see plasma in the form of lightning, for example. A plasma torch can generate heat an much as over 6,000 degrees Celsius. That is 10,832 degrees Fahrenheit. Hotter than the surface of the sun.
I have a short list of people I will shoot in the ass when I get my plasma torch
They have them today.
And they work. For real.
Click on the link above (or here) to find out how it works, and to show I am not making this up.
Wednesday, February 10, 2016
Freeland Beautification Project
The ongoing Freeland battle with urban blight hit a high note last week, when the town tore down the multi-family house at 727-729 Front St.
And located at 609 Centre St. The Seitzinger Building is next.
Built in 1918 for Robert L. Seitzinger's pharmacy it had several apartments upstairs.
Robert L. passed in 1971, and the building has been vacant since 1991.
This is the place with the sign in the window; "Here's to our lives being meaningless, and how beautiful it is because freedom doesn't have a purpose!"
Go figure.
Next topic: Saturday the temperature here is supposed to be -8°. You know what that means? Yup. everyone wears hats. And we all walk around indoors looking like Yahoo Serious.
Most people under 30 are thinking "What's Yahoo Serious?"
Most people over 30 are thinking "What's Yahoo Serious?"
Before there was Yahoo the internet thing, before there was Carrot-Top the idiot thing, there was Yahoo Serious.
He actually went to court and had his name changed from Greg Pead to Yahoo Serious. If you were home that night in 1988, HBO aired his film, Young Einstein, or perhaps you saw the VHS tape at Blockbuster™ but didn't rent it.
Or did.
It was the 80's after all.
Anyhow,
this is how people look after wearing a wool cap all morning.
Just thought of wool hat hair and wanted to mention that.
And located at 609 Centre St. The Seitzinger Building is next.
Built in 1918 for Robert L. Seitzinger's pharmacy it had several apartments upstairs.
Robert L. passed in 1971, and the building has been vacant since 1991.
This is the place with the sign in the window; "Here's to our lives being meaningless, and how beautiful it is because freedom doesn't have a purpose!"
Next topic: Saturday the temperature here is supposed to be -8°. You know what that means? Yup. everyone wears hats. And we all walk around indoors looking like Yahoo Serious.
Most people under 30 are thinking "What's Yahoo Serious?"
Most people over 30 are thinking "What's Yahoo Serious?"
Before there was Yahoo the internet thing, before there was Carrot-Top the idiot thing, there was Yahoo Serious.
He actually went to court and had his name changed from Greg Pead to Yahoo Serious. If you were home that night in 1988, HBO aired his film, Young Einstein, or perhaps you saw the VHS tape at Blockbuster™ but didn't rent it.
Or did.
It was the 80's after all.
Anyhow,
this is how people look after wearing a wool cap all morning.
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