Time to Celabrate. Again.

Well, June is upon us again.

According to the Freeland Progress, these are the Freeland days of June, stop by, have a laugh, let out a holler and enjoy.

JUNE
01 Dare day
02 Bubba day
03 Repeat day (I said Repeat day)
04 Applesauce cake day
05 Doughnut  day
06 Yo-Yo day
07 Chocolate ice cream day
08 Best friend day
09 Donald Duck day
10 Iced tea day
11 Corn on the cob day
12 Red Rose day
13 Sewing machine day
14 FLAG DAY (I think outsiders know of this day)
15 Smile power day
16 Fresh veggies day
17 Eat your veggies day
18 Panic day (not PICNIC day)
19 Splurge day
20 Hollerin' contest day
21 Fathers day/go skate day
22 Chocolate eclair day
23 Columnists day
24 Swim a lap day
25 Catfish day
26 Beautician's day
27 Sun glasses day
28 Insurance day
29 Camera day
30 Meteor day

Usually there is a big event on or about the 27th of June. Back in the Greater New York Area.
If the event happens again this year, and I see no reason it would not happen, just remember, the 27th is sun glasses day in Freeland PA.

 Throw some shade for your ole Pal

Say Hi to Kevin Maher

Odds n' Ends, For a Buck.

First off, "missing" posters I put up in Wilkes-Berre:

 The Bulletin board in the Wilkes-Berre Salvation Army

And in Sam's Club.

Really. Sometimes I crack myself up.
These are not the Droids you are looking for.


Back in Freeland,  Anything for a buck.

There is a Family Dollar.

Next door, a brand-new Dollar General.


Two blocks away,

The old Dollar General (things are still a dollar, ) just not as new as the New-New Dollar General.

Bad News. Next door is an interloper, KC123 Dollar. I don't know who he thinks he is, but I feel there is going to be war.

(Say Hello to my lil' freng)

 

with a population of about 3000 people and four Dollar stores, that comes to about 750 customers per Dollar store.
If each had loyalty to only one store, and spent one dollar a day, that would come out to about $273,750.00
Per store.

All four stores, $1,095,000.00

One Million, ninety five thousand Dollars. Per Year.
 If everyone spent a buck a day.



And I think they will.



When was the last time you saw a *Video tape rental* place?

 

From what I figure, Blockbuster™ never made In-Roads in Freeland PA, back in the 90's, therefore never put the "Mom-and Pop" video stores in Freeland out of business,  like they did in almost every other market in the US. 

So, there they are, still in business. Renting VHS tapes.

If you are looking for a VHS copy of Jurassic Park, Jungle to Jungle, or Shindler's List, give me a call and I will see what I can do.

But remember; 

Please be kind and rewind.

559 Washington St

If you are ever in town, looking for a place to stay, may I present 559 Washington St, or, locally known as the Gargoyle House. 

 

Freeland's Premiere Boarding house. 

"The Gargoyle House, A Place to Crash for the Night, or a Lifetime"

Why Gargoyle House?  Because they have two of these, one on either sidre of the door.

Don't worry, if the Hell that is the inside is a tad too hot for you, you can always step outside, day or night and get a Pepsi

I have it on good authority that meals can be had, you just have to inform the proprietor. 

Further, my sources informed me that the Gargoyle House has doors. 

My sources being employees of the United States Postal Service, who wanted me to know 

1) "I don't dish no dirt, But, some wierd a** S*** goes on in there."

and

2) "Nowhere in Freeland will you find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. You had better be cautious."

Good point, Obi. Discretion  will be my watch-word while photographing the Gargoyle House.

(Has anyone else noticed that the weirdness that is the USPS has paled by the weirdness of the rest of the world, to the point "Going Poastal" is almost meaningless?)

Anyhow;

Proceeding down Washington St to 305 Washington St. we came across this abode:

The Paint job was done by the property owner himself.

Ok I just had to delete the stuff I wrote about this property because today's paper clarified what was going on there. 

The property owner did not live there, it was a 1/2 double that he rented, and according to him guests of the renters trashed the property.

The town is not interested who exactly trashed the property the owner has to fix it up. And has been afforded ample time to make repairs.

Owner said you are the problem, The Mayor, the town board and the police the whole lot of you.

Town's response: 305 Washington St. is now condemned. If you do not make repairs  immediately   the property will be deemed a public hazard and nuance and demolished.

Owner: Time to get out my spray paint. I been robbed.

As of this afternoon, his "Art Instillation" had been white-washed over.

 There sure a lot of these around town.

Say Hi to Kevin Maher

Next: "The Robert Zattic Project".

That is my ticket stub from "The Robert Zattic Project" concert. What a show. He opened with "I'm calling now" then he went into "Someone left a bicycle outside" and then "Don't leave the lights off"
Second set started with "I See you" and he finished with "Hardhat"

True.


Well, no.



This is not about  "The Robert Zattic Project",
but about  Robert's attic.



Robert is one of my neighbors and I don't think he will ever read this. 

See, EMP's (Electro-Magnetic-Pulses) go into his brain. He gets "Interference" in his head when he walks by a WIFI Hotspot. PPL (Pennsylvania Power and Light) stole a Tesla device to control the weather to make his bills go up. And hurt his head.
If someone walks by his house on a cell phone, it makes his brain all static, and he has to sit down.


"I'm calling now"
When we started to move in, he saw, and when we left to get more stuff, he called MY landlord to say people were putting stuff in the house I was renting.

"Someone left a bicycle outside"
During the move my son left his bike in the yard,  when we went to get more boxes. 
He called MY landlord to say "Someone left a bicycle outside"


"Don't leave the lights off"
Guess what?
He called MY landlord  because we left and turned off the lights, he wanted us to leave the lights on. And return every few hours to turn on and off lights.

"I See you"
well this was down-right-creepy.
Daughters unloading boxes, back door:

 (not an actual photo of Robert)

In all honestly, he has never done that again.

He stops by to talk to me about things like the government is sending out radio-wave thought control, the power company reverse-engendered a Tesla device to control the weather, things of that sort. But we know it is all true. He kept trying to get me to come over to look at some pamphlets on mind control, weather control, ect.

Well, the other day I was outside, and he came over. He wanted to show me something.

He said I would like it.

He said it would take a minute.


[Back in NY they have a housing unit, called a duplex. It is one freestanding unit divided into two separate apartments. Here they are called Half-Double.]

Max said "Great! let's go!"

So.
We walk over and he explains his house is a half double, and the rental part is currently available. As we enter, he explains he had some trouble with renters in the past.
Then he begins the tour.

"I wanted to show you this in case you knew anyone else from New York that wanted to move here."

The very first thing I notice: no doors.
Anywhere.
"Um, Robert, Why no doors?"
Oh, I took them off years ago".
"But the bathroom?"
Well, no, it just makes it more roomy.
Then Max sees a door.


Max said, "Well, what is that door?"
Oh, That goes to the attic.

Robert's Attic.

Max pulls the door open, and on the inside of the door is a coat-rack hung with hard-hats.

Robert said, If you want to go up there, I'll have to ask you to wear a hard-hat.

Max just starts up the stairs.

Robert said "I will really have to insist you to wear a hard-hat when going up there. Or in the basement for that matter".

Max, Um, Get down, don't you remember you left brownies on the stove? "But dad, ya don't put bro-gluugg..[as he gets yoked by the neck] " Go on home and check on your brownies, son. Now.

Well, Robert, this certainly a nice place, and the very next people  I know in the market, I guarantee I will let them know about this place.

Say Hi to Kevin Maher

 

Rat Pack Day in Freeland PA

 

Today is Rat Pack Day in Freeland PA. 

A day, apparently set aside to honor  Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Peter Lawford and Joey Bishop. 

I was at the store yesterday, and struck up a conversation with the woman at the counter. I said, you lived here long?

 She said she has lived in Freeland all her life.

I asked her about this Rat Pack Day, and she started to give me some malarkey and bunkum, then I got it. 

If you lived in Freeland, no explanation is necessary; if you don't live in Freeland, no explanation is possible.

 Sinatra, exiting a helicopter,  glass of scotch in hand.

Photographer;

Yul Bernner

Next: "The Robert Zattic Project".

Say Hi to Kevin Maher

 

Order tends to decay.

In thermodynamics, entropy is a measure of the specific ways in which a thermodynamic system can be arranged, commonly known as a measure of disorder.

The second law of  thermodynamics, in a nutshell, is that order tends to decay.

Whoever thought this up clearly had teenagers at home.


I am just saying...

Our Daily Bread.

So, we get to the reception Saturday, and I see, on the place settings, no Jordan Almonds. Or any of the usual "favors" at a wedding reception. I see on my plate a small vial. It is flavored salts to mix with olive oil and balsamic vinegar to flavor up your bread.
I said to someone, "How did you come up with this?  I bake bread all the time."
"Pintrest"

 
Well there ya go, the internet.
Again.


I scored 12.

Next up:
Lemon Pepper Baguettes
Charcoal slow roasted chicken with BBQ sauce
French potato salad
Mixed greens tossed with balsamic vinaigrette dressing

Caramel with a pinch of sea salt ice cream.

That and a bottle of Merlot, sit outside in the twilight with Mary, call it a day.

A long time ago. In a Galexy far, far away

So,
Stick with me this might get complex.

Some 26 or 27 years ago, just before I married Mary, (or just after, but I think it was before) her brother Chris asked me to help him move some stuff from Minnesota to New York. I said "sure,  fine ya' betcha" (Minnesota speak) So off we went to Stillwater MN.

While there Chris tells me his brother-in-law, Jim and his sister-in law Jenny, need help finishing a barn on their farm.
Well, I am down for a barn-raising-party in Minnesota. And Chris is my (soon to be) brother-in-law, and Jim is Chris' brother-in-law, so there is that. The barn goes up, we go home, I get married.



Saturday we are in Colombia, District of,  for a wedding. Chris Jr.s' wedding.

I notice that in the pew in front of me is Phil, grandfather of the groom, Chris Jr.
Next to Phil is Jenny and Jim and all their children.

At the reception, I walk over and ask if the barn is still standing, and they are surprised, and we had a great time talking about the past.

 So,
Sunday we are all out at Chris Sr.'s farm for lunch and a fine get-together.  I see in the driveway a huge motor-home with MN plates. I ask Jenny, "Is that yours?"

No, we rented it.
Oh, I said. My pal had one, smaller than that, but he loved it. used to drive it all around, let the kids see America and all. It caught fire a while ago, now it is gone.

Jenny said, "What a shame, our Priest just told us a similar story about a friend of our parish, his RV caught fire as well.

Who knew they where that flammable.

Then she calls out, "Jim, Hon, what was the name of that guy with the RV, the one that went on fire?"

"The movie guy? the one that interviewed us about the Montfort monastery?
Morlino, wasn't it?



Morlino?


Jim Morlino?



"Yes, that's him. Do you know him? He made a movie about Bernadette of Lourdes and another about the Catholics during the French revolution called "The War of the Vendee" Have you seen them?"

<maherface>
Blink.

Blink.




Blink.
</maherface>

Yea, I think I have heard of that guy.

Bells are ringing

We are invited to a wedding in Washington DC Saturday.

I was wearing my powder-blue suit, with dark blue shirt, tie and display handkerchief, black brogues, black wool socks with dark little clocks on them. I was neat, clean, shaved and sober, and I didn't care who knew it.
― Raymond Chandler, The Big Sleep

That's how I will be, sans clock-socks.

Copper and stuff.

So,
The other day I posted about the gas leak outside my house, turns out it was not a proper gas leak, the Fire Marshal said it was some bohunk trying to steal the copper pipe from the main tank to the inside of the church.

What?

I find out that

1) Scrap copper pipe is worth $2.00/lb
2) Scrap copper pipe is a big commonity in Freeland/Hazelton area
3) Scrap copper pipe is the de rigueur choice for obtaining drug money

Then I am told of many instances of copper pipe thefts in the area.

On Monday around 9:30 I decide to walk down Walnut st. to go to town (we were out of coffee) and I hear two young (20's) people coming up Ridge St.

They were moving fast, breathing hard and sweating profuse.

As they pass in front of me I see the young man has a large backpack.

Stuffed with about thirty pounds of copper pipe, cut into three foot lengths.

Go figure.

Its raining men. Literally

 

 

So,

there I am, last week and Mary goes in a store to look around. I decide to go outside, because it is a nice day, and we have had few of those recently. We were about 1/2 mile from the Hazelton Airport, so sorry about the shaky hand video. I figured next week I would get closer, and use a tripod. 

But no.

Next week we are going to a wedding in Washington DC.

All the girls want to get their hair done. I said "Good News! We are in Freeland! You can go here!" 

No, dad. No.

But Anna Mae, 

No, dad. No.

Jeez, you would think New York is the only place to get your hair done.

That orange sign in the window reads that the building is safe to enter. 

 Now that the "modifications" to the basement meet the Freeland Town Building code.

I bet business is picking up, because before, you know, the basement...  well it's ok now.

<James T. Kirk voice>

Just.

Don't.

Go.

Down.

There.

Ever.

</James T. Kirk voice>

 

 

May 4th. 2015 in Freeland PA

May 4th is Star Wars Day in Freeland.
Then it hit me.

May 4th.

May the 4th.

May the 4th.

Be with you.

May the force be with you.

I have to meet up with these guys.

Holidays in Freeland. Lets celebtate.

I picked up a copy of the monthly news from Freeland, The Freeland Progress.
Here is the short list of what is celebrated in Freeland this month.

May 1, Tuba Day
May 1, Mother Goose Day
May 1, Space Day
May 2, Brothers and Sisters Day
May 4, Star Wars Day
May 5, Hoagie Day
May 6, No Diet Day
May 8, No Socks Day
May 9, Lost Sock Memorial Day
May 10, Clean Your Room Day
May 11, Eat What You Want Day
May 12, Fatigue Syndrome Day
May 13, Frog Jumping Day
May 14, Dance Like a Chicken Day
May 15, Chocolate Chip Day
May 16, Love a Tree Day
May 17, Rat Pack Day
May 18, No Dirty Dish Day
May 20, Pick Strawberries Day
May 21, Memo Day
May 22, Buy a Musical Instrument Day
May 23, Lucky Penny Day
May 24, Escargot Day
May 25, Missing Children Day (???)
May 26, Sun Screen Day
May 27, Tap Dance Day
May 28, Learn About Composting Day
May 29, Water a Flower Day

I am going out on a limb here, but I bet the City Council really does not have a lot to vote on, on a daily basis.
But, if they do not vote on something, they are not doing their job.

It looks like my calendar is somewhat full for the next few weeks or so.

The paper comes out once a month, so I will let you know what June is shaping up like.