The good thing about meth.

In 1986, during the Namibian war for independence from South Africa, two Namibian guerrillas were just north of the border inside Angola

Then they became aware that they were being followed.


They split up. One man ran north and made it to safety.

The other went south and ran for the hills, and took the "breaking bad" escape.


His trail was picked up by South African Special Forces trackers who began chasing after him in APC's (armored personnel carriers).

Despite the fact that the trackers had trucks, and he was just a junkey on foot , he actually managed to out run the trucks and get miles away from the trackers.

Because he had a boat-load of meth.

He was able to run for five days straight.

230 miles.
No food or water, just meth.

Tell that to Walter White.

It's been a while

Things have been crazy here in Freeland PA in the last few weeks, to say the least.
I got some kind of cold, by coincidence right after the ole saw-bones wanted me to get a flu shot. I said no. She said why not?

Because I don't want a flu shot.

"Well that is not an answer."

Yes. It is. It is my answer today, and I don't care what flavor sucker you are handing out right now, I am not going in for the old stainless steel jab.

Then I get sick. Go figure.

So.
So my neighbor decides to make popcorn shrimp.
2 quarts of oil on the stove, battered shrimp at the ready, then get distracted and forget about  2 quarts of oil on the stove.

While the smell of smoke and the sight of burning oil is not alarming enough, try tossing a pail of water on it, and watch hilarity unfold as burning oil splashes all over the kitchen.

Then just for added comic relief, PA Power and Light cuts the power off to 1400 homes out of 3100 in Freeland, so the firemen don't get electrocuted.

That is when I fall off the sidewalk in the dark.

And bust up my face real good.

I write this note
To tell you of my plight
And at the time of writing
I am not a pretty sight
My body is all black and blue,
My face a deathly gray
And I hope you understand
Why Kevin's not bloging today.

That Feeling.

Ya know that feeling you get when you look at something you have done, some work assignment or something, and you realize, you nailed it.

That feeling of accomplishment, a job well done. The kind of thing that people notice and think, he gave 120% and then gave some more.

It's the little things, the attention to details, the "Finishing touches" that separates the ordinary from the extraordinary.

The satisfaction of a job well done.

This guy never felt any of those things.

Ever.

I would bet fifty bucks and a round of shots he goes to work with his shirt on in-side out and backwards.

November 5. Gunpowder day

Remember, remember the Fifth of November, 
The Gunpowder Treason and Plot, 
I know of no reason Why the Gunpowder Treason 
Should ever be forgot. 
Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, 
t’was his intent To blow up the King and Parliament.

Over in England, tonight is Bonfire Night.

That commemorates the failure of the Gunpowder Plot in November 1605 by a gang of Roman Catholic activists and no-goodnicks that wanted to blow up the king.

See, when the Protestant King James I became King, English Catholics had hoped that the persecution they had suffered for 45 years under Queen Elizabeth would finally end. When this didn't happen a group of conspirators got it in their nut to assassinate the King and his ministers by blowing up the Palace of Westminster during the state opening of Parliament.

Blamo.

Guy Fawkes and his henchmen planted 2,500kg or, 550 pounds of gunpowder beneath Parliament, the idea was to light a fuse and blow the place sky-high. 

But they got caught, tortured, hanged and drawn and quartered. The bits of them were spread out across the four corners of England, as an example to the rest of the naysayers, and other non-protestant citizens. Everyone was forced to take an oath of allegiance denying the Pope's authority over the king. If not, well, there were bits of Guy spread out everywhere so you would get the idea.

See, if you were on the King's side Guy and his pals were a bunch of treasonous, murdering mad-men.  To Guy Fawkes and the others, they were defenders of the Catholic faith. It is just a matter of prospective, and what you believe is normalcy. In 1605, some thought the King was right no matter what, others thought he needed to be dead.

 I think it was Morticia Addams that said it best:

"Normal is an illusion.
Normal is not real.
What is normal for the spider
is chaos for the fly"

So,

I know of no reason Why the Gunpowder Treason 
Should ever be forgot. 

Gun powder day? They have that?

November.

01 All Saints day
02 Look for circles day
03 Housewife's day/Sandwich day
04 King Tut day
05 Gunpowder day
06 Marooned with out a compass day
07 Bittersweet chocolate with almonds day
08 Dunce day/Cook something bold day
09 Chaos never dies day (And rust never sleeps)
10 Forget-me-not day
11 Veteran's Day/Wild Planet day
12 Chicken soup day
13 Indian pudding day
14 Operating room nurse day (The old stainless steel jab day)
15 Clean your refrigerator day (What the hell is that smell?)
16 Button day
17 Electronic greeting card day
18 Occult day
19 Have a bad day day
20 Absurdity day
21 Hello day
22 Go for a ride day
23 Eat a cranberry day
24 All of our uncles are monkeys day
25 Parfait day
26 Thanksgiving day
27 Black Friday
28 buy nothing day
29 Square dance day
30 Stay at home because you are well day

You can do what you want, but I personally will not give a nod to Housewife's day/Sandwich day,  I prefer not to sleep on the sofa.

05 Gunpowder day in Freeland. Gunpowder, also known as black powder, is a chemical explosive. It is a mixture of charcoal, (75%) sulfur, (15%)  and potassium nitrate (10%). The sulfur and charcoal act as fuels, and the potassium nitrate is a burning agent. Because of its burning properties and the amount of heat and gas volume that it generates, gunpowder has been widely used as a propellant in firearms and as a pyrotechnic composition in fireworks. I am not saying you should make some, but if you do, don't let your bone-headed neighbor stir it around with a hot soldering iron.

Unless you want a house full of white smoke.

Half an hour before your mother comes home.

But that would be the neighbor down the street

The next door neighbor will call you a jackass because your car is on fire.

Whatever.

If you did want to make gun powder, try not to use stump remover potassium nitrate, available at Home Depot, or Loews, because the grade in stump remover is generally high in contaminants and stabilizers, or stabilized potassium nitrate, that won't readily decompose (explode) the way it should.


What I used to use was high school  science lab grade potassium nitrate, the good stuff. just toss a five pound can out of the window, into the oleander bushes and collect it later. The Science teacher, Mr Robillard, only had one eye.  So we would say "Robillard, two "L's" one eye".

Oh, when I said "I" it was meant in the most generic way possible. I did not intend to imply that I had anything to do with missing chemicals, or at least, not without my lawyer present.


And don't even get me started about calcium carbide, and how, when mixed with water, produces a huge amount of Acetylene gas.
Very explosive Acetylene gas.


Seriously, very explosive Acetylene gas.

Other news

I almost forgot.
I am sure by now you have heard about the government 2.75 billion dollar spy blimp that went missing and crashed in Bloomsburg PA

It was dragging more than a mile of steel cable which knocked over power lines, phone and cable lines, and just about everything that got in it's way. 27,000 homes with out power.

The Amish, however, took it in stride.

The Amish don't care, they don't use electricity.
They shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morning they're milkin' cows
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows.

Go figure

It's been a long time

It has been a while, but nothing much has happened in Freeland PA in a while.
Not anything big.

Well not this big:
Dollar store. Five lighters for a buck. Five.

Then I found a penny in the parking lot. So, five lighters for 99 cents. 

At one point I started to write a short story about how the Chinese  wanted to start a war with us, so they secretly embedded a small micro-chip in everything they exported to us, so that on a specific day  and time, everything in the US of A would catch fire. All at once. Old flip-flops, toaster ovens, TVs - everything. On fire. Not a shot fired. You can't call the fire department, because the phone is on fire. And so is the fire-house. Think about that for a moment, everything in your house that was made in China, on fire. Spatulas, fly swatters, microwave ovens, shoes, iPhones, hell, the Dollar General would be a mile wide crater in the ground.
Anyhow, I never finished putting pen to paper,  so that is that.

Fun Fact: If you have an iPhone ask Siri why fire trucks are red.

Back to Freeland.

The Gargoyle house was done up proper for the season, what else is new.

One fine night we had this for dinner:

Which turned into this:

And became this:

Dinner. Bacon wrapped roast venison, Bavarian dumplings, cranberries and rosemary garlic bread.


Now the birds are out in full force.

Let's see what is in the paper today...

Well what do you know about that...